your mornings are sacred.

episode 44: wtf is a morning menu?? creating a morning and night routine that actually sticks.

when i had minimal stability in my life, i longed for consistency and a foundation to ground me throughout the days, weeks, and months of trying to navigate my early 20’s. i went through what seems like the quintessential freshly-graduated-millennial-in-nyc-trying-to-get-by-syndrome: underemployed, living paycheck to paycheck, subletting a random apartment in brooklyn with several roommates. feeling uninspired and simultaneously under and overwhelmed. grappling with what we now know as the looming pandemic on our heels, turning into a 3-year-long fever dream. all while trying to adapt to a “new normal” when the old normal already had its major flaws. i felt like nothing in my life was stable, and every morning i would dread jumping out of bed, showering, putting on a lil’ makeup and heading straight to work.

it’s like i was missing a huge step in my day. what i actually needed was some distance between me waking up and then “getting ready” for just work. centering work and my responsibilities at work left me feeling depleted physically, mentally, and spiritually.

fast-forward to me now turning 31 in about six weeks, i’ve realized how much having a morning and night routine gave me something to depend on when it felt like my own mental health was collapsing. through listening to myself, my body, and its needs i learned i needed to carve out time for myself every single day. even if it was only five minutes: those five minutes were all mine.

although trending on tiktok now, in hindsight, i’d been doing the #morningmenu (and night menu) method for the last 5 years. a morning menu is a template to create a flexible and fluid environment to start (or end) your day, with an emphasis on feeling good. so how do you create a morning menu? you select 5 habits or activities that you’d want to incorporate into your daily routine (e.g., walking, skincare, journaling, meditation, organizing/tidying your space) and then out of those five options, choose about 3 total to add to your menu. same concept can be applied to your evening routine. this way, you have the flexibility to pick and choose what works for you depending on your mood, needs, capabilities, time supply, and events for the day instead of focusing on a rigid, time-stamped schedule.

these days, my morning menu looks a lot like this:

1. meditation and/or breathwork

2. journaling or adult coloring book

3. hot girl walk

4. weightlifting or indoor cycling

5. ashwagandha and lemon balm tea and/or matcha

and my night menu looks a lot like:

1. taking a long, hot shower

2. 7-step skincare routine including gua sha

3. night time yoga or stretches

4. creating a to-get-to list for the next day

5. loose leaf chamomile tea

sometimes i do all of these habits, and some days i only have time for two or three. but regardless, i have to carve out space to honor my needs first. my mental health and existence quite literally depends on it.

i learned quickly that creating a morning and night routine is an investment on your peace of mind. through exploring what habits would naturally stick and which would just be a test run, i was learning to design lifestyle that’s sustainable for myself so that i could always rely on a flexible framework that supported my well-being moving forward. no matter how unpredictable, overwhelming, or exhausting of a day i had ahead of me, i could say to myself: “at least took care of me” and that alone is more than enough.

i talk more about creating a morning and night menu right here, on our podcast: The Soft Life with Saddie Baddies®, available everywhere you listen to podcasts. if you wanna learn more about developing a self-care routine, check out our ultimate self-care guide right here.

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